Prayer - God's gift of spiritual communication! What a beautiful gift --- if only we would take advantage of it!

Recognizing that communication is the foundation for growing relationships, and God is contstantly calling us to a deeper relationship with Him, we can assume that our relationship is directly affected by our communication with Him: prayer.

Consider the relationships in your life - spouse, children, friends and co-workers. What makes these relationships work, what makes them good, what makes them valuable to you? How can you make them better, what makes them difficult, what are the obstacles that might make them better. Whatever the issue, communication, dialog, and just 'being there' for the other person will deepen the bonds between you.

God asks nothing less. He wants to communicate with us. He wants to know how our day went, He wants to know our joys and sufferings. He wants to be that shoulder we cry on, the pat on the back, a big bear hug, caressing arms, the hi-five, and that goodnight kiss. He is Loving Father, Nurturing Mother, the Great Physician, Teacher, Friend, Confidant, Brother, Coach, Leader, and Lover. He is Love. We need to learn how to communicate with Love. We need to learn how God wants to communicate with us.

My Own Rule of Life


The first "P", Prayer.

What is it that God wants from us? Those over the age of 40 could give you a rote answer, "To know, love, and serve God in this world so that we can be happy with Him in the next."

You can't serve without love, otherwise it's slavery. We are not God's slaves, we are His children and He loves us. He wants us to serve out of love. And, you can't love someone without knowing them.

How do we, as human beings, get to know someone? We talk to them, listen to them, communicate with them. God wants the same thing from us. We need to talk to Him and we need to listen to Him. It's called prayer. That #1 "P".

After realizing that I loaned out my copy of MROL, I bought another from my mom's company, "Mater Dei Imports", and I began to page through it once again last night. Today, I will start my lists, then prayerfully identify any attachments, then label and finally prioritize and schedule. Sounds difficult, but this is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship with Christ.

Oftentimes, we feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin. I think of my 10 y/o who just sits on her bed looking at the messy room, not knowing what to pick up first when told to clean.

Othertimes, we're not fully honest with ourselves or we don't realize how much we've taken on. It takes a tangible list to truly see how full, or overflowing, our lives have become. It might also come as a surpirse to see how much time is wasted with these 'attachments'.

Before beginning, it is necessary to understand that, as a mom, our responsibilities fall under 5 categories. MROL identifies these as the 5 'P's: Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, and Provider. These are prioritied as God, self, spouse, children, and home.

When I first heard of this 'system', I was shocked to see 'self' listed immediately after God. But the author explains, rightly so, that if we don't take care of ourselves, we cannot serve others. This doesn't mean eatting bon-bons all day, but it does mean eatting right, exercise, and getting enough sleep. How can we chase after our little ones or show physical affection to our spouses if we are tired or sick? Re-listing my 'self' in the priority line has made a huge difference in my daily routine, in how much energy I have throughout the day, and my attitude overall.

Consider the first "P": what does your prayer life consist of? How often do you pray? How do you pray? What is your intention? Consider this: if you pray the rosary in your car just to 'get it in', it is prayer or empty words? How well can you pray if you must divide your time with God and the operation of your vehicle, attention to other drivers, and your passengers? If this is the only time you can find to pray, then it's time to re-schedule your activities or pare them down to put God-time first.

I know now that I cannot truly pray the rosary in the car. Nor can I pray the rosary at night in bed (I fall asleep). I really need uninterrupted time to really focus on the mysteries of Christ; a devotion I like to pray best with my children.

Not very long ago, during a very hectic time in my life - between ministry work, homeschooling, business, and home life - I desperately asked my pastor for help in my prayer life. I remember telling him that if I didn't do something soon, I would burn out totally. I was giving myself to everyone else as spouse, mother, friend, teacher, etc., I had nothing left.

Father asked me what I was doing for my prayer life, how was I praying. I told him that I usually prayed once I was alone at night in bed, but I would fall asleep after an Our Father and Hail Mary. Father, who I had expected would give me a pointer or two, admonished me by saying, "You are doing yourself and God a great disservice. He has given you everything and you give him only the scraps that are left of your day. He severves and demands the best of what we have and that includes our time. Pray during the day when we are at our best; when we can give Him the best of ourselves."

What a revelation!

I knew that God deserves the best but I usually only applied this idea to material things, not time and especially not prayer!

Now, I had a realy foundation to place my priorities upon when I started to schedule my day. God had to come first, then the rest of the day gets filled up.

I had a dear friend who sets the watch on her alarm for 3pm. No matter where she is at 3pm, she stops to pray and asks whoever is with her to join her in prayer. What a witness, what an inspiration, what a challenge!

Now that summer is here, my schedule must change, but God will receive first 'dibs' on my time. This will be my primary consideration this week: am I still giving God my 'best', if not why, and has my 'best' time changed with the summer schedule?

Well the new version of our website, Handmaid For The Lord. My goal was to have it up by August for our 5th year anniversary in biz. I'm early! (again, only by the grace of God.... and the patience of my husband, Jerry)

My plans, following the website unveiling, were to buckle down and re-start my "Rule of Life". Darn it all if I can't find my book, Mother's Rule of Life"! I guess spring cleaning will be first on my "priorities" list -- after Our Lord, that is.

In the beginning.......

We've finished the school year (homeschooling) and are registering for an online home education program called, K12. This new schooling format plus changes in our summer schedule, and new business opportunities are prompting me to once again re-evaluate my priorities (and those of my husband and children) and see what God wants of us.

"A Mother's Rule of Life", by Holly Pierlot, has been a wonderful resource for guiding me step-by-step to a finished prioritized 'schedule'. I will be working through my own priorities, labelling my "attachments", making lists, and praying in 'blog' form.

"Time Management For Catholics". by David Durand, is another great book that helps us understand that God must come first. The author shows us how to take this understanding to heart and make it a part of our lives.

With these new changes in our families life, it's back to the drawing board (along with Eucharistic Adoration), and time to set priorities, make some lists, get rid of "attachments" and re-align my will with God's.

I've often been asked, "What do you do?". My reply scares me.

When confronted with the list of "do-ings", my own response is one of embarrasment, when, at one time I would have been proud of all these jobs, accomplishments, "do-ings".

Why should I be embarrased? I'm a woman, I can do anything! Today's woman can "do it all"! Not only should I be doing it all, I should be having "me time"!

Right?!

So why the embarrasment? Why do I cringe when I say, "I'm a wife and mother, a homeschool mom, a small biz owner, and the DRE for our parish. I teach 6th grade, I run a website, I manage 15 teachers and 140 Catholic students. I take karate and jazzercise, I run kids to swimming and softball. I cook and clean and package orders." The list goes on. But something is missing.

SomeONE is missing - the only Person who can help me pull it off. Although my husband is my greatest supporter, he cannot give me the grace that I need to sustain a hectic and very full lifestyle. But he is a channel for the One who can give me this grace.

Jesus is my grace. I need to fit Him into my day. Or do I?W hat a shame to consider that I need to "fit" Jesus into my life. Surely that doesn't say a whole lot for my love of Him.

With much thanks to my friend and spiritual advisor, Fr. Fischer, I have learned that I don't "fit Jesus into my life", I "fit my life into Jesus". It's not just prayer, it's a genuine relationship with Jesus that is needed. A marriage doesn't work if you have to fit your spouse into your life. A marriage is a union of one life shared by two people. This is the relationship that Jesus wants with us. A union, not an afterthought.

How is this achieved? Certainly by prayer but also by real work. Taking stock of what 'things' are in our lives. Prioritizing our life according to our vocation. Then scheduling the necessary 'things' around God -- not the other way around.

Once this idea is grasped, a whole new, wonderful and holy outlook seems to take over. Grace flows. New strength is found. Those 'things' in our life that are not so necessary no longer seem to have the same value or meaning. They fall away more easily.

St. John of the Cross urges us to get rid of these 'attachments'. Rid ourselves of those' things' we first took stock of that aren't quite so necessary. It takes real courage to place them in the category of 'attachments'. Then it takes grace to get rid of them.

I hope to share how I was able to take stock, prioritize, and schedule God first. But my priorities are calling!

I wish you God's Peace!
Kathleen
Handmaid For the Lord